10 posts from February 2008

I find it an odd feeling being a young screenwriter...and I say young not merely because I am early in my life, but also because writing film has only been a short experience for me, it took me twenty years to realize that this is what I enjoy doing, but at this point I am still uncertain if my stories are worthy of being put to screen or if it is even I am who is supposed to  set these pieces into that form.

 

Two of my screenplays have been put into works by groups of amature film makers on campus, one group I know personally and I think merely is making it due to the lack of any other script available...the other found my story  tied with adjectives as "cute and captivating" but the fact it also written to serve a very low budget shot probably also garnered their interest.

 

The second story I am doing also myself for a short project for a class...interesting to have two films made based on the same script, and espesially since one is being done by the writer himself...but of course those i have with me to make the film is lacking in the enthusiasm or zest at all for my film they simply are in search of a grade...so my doubts are there in what film is really mine...the one where I'm in charge but serve as the only heart, or the other where I am not even there  but there's those who share my obscured vision, well  hopefully.

I fear both will be a failure in their own aspects and I feel as some of my ideas in the past have also proven to be step backs in the direction from which I want to head.

 

So far I am t he short film writing of my gang of hack film makers here, yet also the only one who lacks the form training in it, mind you I know how to write a script but the ironic aspect is I am in  no writing classes at the moment one of my film classes actually opposes writing and tells us simply to create with no real structure.  My other associates here are mediocre at best in their story achievements and are both being groomed in the way of the screenplay.

That then feeds another insecurity, being what I consider to be but perhaps not as knowledgable as the others in what I do...I'm thinking of writing a full feature soon, based on a silly idea i had for a class but was scrapped last term.  I'm thinking it would be a very easy film to sell though and at the same time it can still encompass my ideals...I'm not going to go into detail what is is about yet not until I finish writing it...a small part of me wants though dreams though of selling it...for real that is.

I want my big break, I want to achieve, but at the moment it's simply wimsy and dreams, no more real then what I put down on paper.

I was also told something said in one of the films based on my writings, "he wrote it but he doesn't really have much to do with it"...maybe that's true? I don't know but it is a little disheartening.

also why does she have to say shit like that? It fucking pisses me off and makes me think I'm not who I'm supposed to be.  Can no one just accept me how I am? Blarrrgah!

I was totally right about the estimate on my car...fucking a...goodbye nikon d80.

two of my scripts have be opted by different groups to be used in the campus film festivals...mind you it's just students who have decided that they like my stories enough to want to revolve a film around but you know...it's still pretty nice for my ego...you know if I had one.

I hate bumming rides, but I need to get where I'm going somehow.  Bus routes here make no sense either.  I hate work now, manager had to make me feel like I don't do enough.  I dislike my fop group, none of them can write and they don't like my ideas.  Fuck them I'll make my own shit.  I hope my car will be ok...I really need them wheels back soon.

people irritate me in this town, acting like they know shit, when they have nothing.

On an unrelated note...new Dunnys come out on Thurs...I'm being very strict with my funds but damnit to heck I'm getting atleast two, I deserve them.

Camera plans down toilette need more worry more about affording rent now.

Deposit Ex Roommate screwed me out of: 500
Car Repair: 600-? (uncomfirmed but most likely)
Crown Work: 280 (next week)
Montly Insurance: 200 (3 weeks)
Coming Months Rent: 433 (the first)

Total amount in bank account: 500
Uncashed Paycheck: 500
Credit left on Card: 400
With one paycheck to come on the 31st: 300

Price of constantly being screwed: priceless

[04:25] Wolf: apparentally the puffer and the fighter can coexist
[04:25] Pete: i'm an astronaut floating towards the sun and i have no where near enough tangerines
[04:25] Wolf: paprika!!!!!!!!!
[04:25] Wolf: *insert catchy loud music*
[04:26] Pete: zoom zoom